My Only Hope
by Shy Spirit Kitty
Summary: It happened in Gran Pulse- as they camped. Hope and Snow realized they didn't need each other as friends but they needed each other as a way to keep on going. Warning there is Yaoi. Mentioned Snow x Serah and Snow x Nora but mainly Snow X Hope


It was sick. Sick of him to do it.

Snow, his mom, Serah, they would never forgive him for doing such a sick thing.

It was another night in Gran Pulse, another night of being on watch. Hope wasn't complaining, but after fighting for the entire day switching bewteen healing and supporting it wasn't entirely fair to have the job of protecting as well. After Sazh had been dragged away by a couple of teaseful chocobos, the group had decided that a routine nightwatch would be in place. Half way through the night the alternative person would switch with the one currently on duty, therefore both would get some amount of sleep before dawn broke. Today Sazh and Snow would be on duty, Vanille and Fang would cover tomorrow, and Lightening with Hope the day after that, this is how it usually went hence forth, the group setting appealed to everyone since some personal relationships were messy between some individuals.

This was the reason Snow was not to be paired with Hope. Although both had settled their differences, there was still a large strain on their relationship which made it difficult to be by each other outside of battle. Today wouldn't of been so different if Sazh hadn't been fighting; it took a lot to bring Sazh down but tumbling out of the fiery car had taken a lot out of Sazh after the group fought three large beasts causing Sazh to summon all his might to bring them down. Vanille and Fang used a number of different enchantments to save Sazh from danger and Lighting had found them a place to rest while fighting off monsters for the entire evening. Hope and Snow were left with the job of night patrol, for half the night Snow was expected to patrol the out layer of the camp while Hope was to look out for aerial creatures.

It was very quiet, it seemed Lightening had picked the perfect place to set up Camp; it was quiet, resourceful and there wasn't a monster in miles. What Hope and Snow didn't know was that the smell of powerful magic repelled any creature that appeared between 1-4 miles; the magic of Vanille and Fang had only supplied the powerful Oder of Sazh who reeked of Eidolons and petrol fuel. Hope had been sitting around for at least four hours, watching Lightening as her chest lifted with each breath and fell with a calm expression, he often wondered what would happen to him and Lightening if they didn't turn into crystals or Cie'th. His eyes fell onto her body again, longer for this time. She was very beautiful, Lightening. Although she often wore a stern face Hope had seen it twisted into concern and spirit, bravery... and hope.

Hope sighed and began to lean back but jolted back up as Snow leaned over him grinning like an idiot, their head's met with a cold thud, although it didn't hurt as much as he'd expected it to; Hope clutched onto his head with both his hands and groaned as the ringing in his ears got louder.

"What was that for?!" Hope yelled throwing his hand out at Snow who was shaking his head in a effort to get the ringing to stop.

"I thought it would be funny," He mumbled, his teeth were gritted and one of his hands rested against his forehead. Hope glared at him, jumping onto his legs he strode past Snow.

"Great Job, that was really funny," He growled punching Snow lightly before walking ahead. Snow watched him silently.

"Hey-" He grabbed hold of Hope's shoulder, Hope turned to him puzzled "-let's just stay put, my sentinel got pretty high after all, plus you look ready to drop." Snow winked as Hope blushed in embarrassment, feeling slightly offended Hope twisted his arm from Snow's grip and continued to walk forward.

"I'm not, don't worry I'll be-" At this point Snow had tackled Hope to the ground, his arms wrapped around the young boys torso and he pulled him closer to him.

"Don't lie, liars are worst than L'Cie..." Snow mumbled, Hope sighed as warmth ran through his body and ached for more. The stars above him looked beautiful and so clear, it was in this moment that he realized that this was the first time he was looking at the stars with someone other than his mother. It felt somewhat, personal... yet here with Snow...

"Why are you doing this?" Hope sighed, his eyes closing his body making very little attempt to break free. Snow glanced down at the Dazy boy and without thinking his brushed a stray iron lock away from Hope's eyes.

"I gotta protect you, I made a promise to a very special lady, and Hero's keep their promises." He said, Hope reopened his eyes and watched Snow sadly as his eyes searched the starry sky. He wondered if his mother was watching them now, praying for him to be safe. "You know, I think you must of had a crush on her, am I right hero?" Hope teased, Snow grinned down at Hope and shoved his shoulder lightly.

"Hey Serah's the only one for me, you got that?" He declared although his voice was more humorus than serious. Hope poked him hard in the chest sitting up, Snow pulled away and looked at Hope's face seriously.

"But my mom was a little cute right?" Hope said peaking up from his silver bangs, Snow laughed heartily.  
"Okay she was a little!" He eventually agreed, Hope punched the air in triumph.

"But you gotta remember that Serah is the one I love, No matter what I feel for anyone else my feelings for her are ten times more stronger, got that?" Snow said making sure Hope understood how he felt before jumping to conclusions.

"Okay I get it, but seriously my mom, what did you see in her?" Snow couldn't help but smile as he remembered those large green eyes.

"Those giant green eyes, her silver hair, the way she crouched back as she was scared..." Snow suddenly stopped. Was that what she was like? No... that wasn't her. Hope felt his heart thump against his chest as Snow laid down on the ground and mumbled something about being tired. He knew that wasn't what he mother looked like... in fact his mother looked somewhat like a older version of Lightening, the description fitted someone else entirely.

-

He couldn't sleep, he was tired but he couldn't sleep; the fire had died out but he wasn't cold, Hope's body was burning, almost to the point where it was driving him insane. He could of been mistaken but he felt something within his stomach, like a knot. If time was available in Gran Pulse, Hope would of known he'd been sitting in the same spot for 2 hours. Snow had just as much difficulties getting to sleep and only pretended in hope of fooling the boy into some sleep. Why did he say that about his Mom? How could he get them so mixed up? He slept dreaming of Hope.

Hope was hanging on the edge, tears ran down his face as he looked up at Snow.

"Hang on, you're gonna be okay!" Snow yelled trying to pull him over the edge, Hope said something but Snow refused to listen instead he pulled as hard as he could but Hope wouldn't budge, his grip was slipping yet Snow tried everything to save him. Before Hope slipped completely off his expression was peaceful and his body fell gracefully back. Snow ran to the edge and tried to grab hold of him, but he didn't... he lost Hope. Snow couldn't breath, his heart felt cold and his body hit the ground like a brick... and he couldn't breath.

-

Snow returned to his senses when Hope had leaned down with a flustered expression on his face, it was obvious what he was doing, yet he didn't know why. Gazing up at the blushing ashen haired boy, Snow felt the weight of Serah's tear in his back pocket become lighter for some reason as he to leaned forward to close the distance between himself and Hope. Hope wasn't expecting this and he jolted back in shock, Snow reached out and wiped away the falling tears then stroked Hope's check gently. He then leaned in again.

"It's okay," He whispered and their lips met again. This time kiss lasted a few moments, a hand reached up and Hope was pulling off Snow's hat touching the blonde hair beneath it, touching someone that was his...

It was that moment that Hope realised something, something that made him sick. Pushing Snow away, he ran off as fast as he could. His legs felt weak and his lips tingled, but all the excitement died a few moments ago. In that moment Hope realised that by kissing Snow he was taking someone away from Serah. By kissing Snow, he would hurt her. By kissing Snow, he would always be a secret. Sinking to his knee's Hope felt the world around him smash to pieces and everything he'd experience was for nothing.

_"But you gotta remember that Serah is the one I love, No matter what I feel for anyone else my feelings for her are ten times more stronger, got that?_"

Snow lifted his hand from his pocket and pulled out a handful of broken shards. Glancing at them, he wondered how something so broken had become his hope when really, the promise, the anger, the love... it had summarized in those few seconds when they kissed. Sure he loved Serah, sure he missed her... but at this very moment all he needed was his Hope.

-

"We shouldn't do what the Fal'cie want us to do... we should listen to Serah, she wouldn't want us to destroy Cocoon." Snow smiled as he lifted the blue shard up to the sun, it's glittered form reflected the faces of the others.

"I'd rather become a Cie'th than destroy innocent lives, that way we can be stopped!" Sazh and Vanille smiled at Snow, while Lightening smirked at the rashness of her 'Brother'.

"Are you with me, with Serah?!" The entire group each expressed some form of accepting, where Fang and Lightening simply stepped forward, Sazh, Vanille and Snow showed their acceptance with body language.

"So we're all agreed then?" Snow yelled, Vanille slowly turned to Snow and shook her head.

"What about Hope?" She said, she glanced at him a little worried. Snow rolled his shoulder not expressing any emotion.

"Hey Hope-" Hope lifted his head up as Snow called his name in a low tone. "-Catch." Hope ran forward and caught hold of the blue shard, and it seemed to everyone but Snow, that Hope had been changed by the touch of Serah's tear.

But in fact it wasn't the tear that had changed Hope's mood, but hope in something else. His hands were frozen and wet as Vanille called out to him and their journey continued. There was no real evidence of this actually happening, all except the piece of blue see-through ice on the ground and even then it disappeared without any proof of existence.

It was amazing what the Shiva Sisters could do.

-

Mel: So how was it? Sorry It took me a while to write this, and I got tired during the end. :( Thanks for reading :)


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